Can getting rid of your emotional constipation help with anxiety? And what do you need to do?

With the world being what it is today, most people have experienced anxiety to a greater or lesser extent. And while there are many possible approaches, not many of them deal with what happens at an energy level when we experience anxiety.

Drawing from my own experience, I would describe anxiety as a kind of clawing, niggling feeling that may or may not make sense consciously. Sometimes I knew I was anxious and I understood why, and other times I had no clue why I was feeling that way and that only made it worse because there was nothing I could do to ‘reason it away’.

I’ve also experienced the kind of anxiety that hits you like a freight train and completely shuts off your power of speech, your ability to think and even your ability to move.

When the body is in severe anxiety your energy field will tend to react by catapulting your consciousness out of the body to a safe distance where you can observe what’s going on. This way you don’t have to be fully present with what may be a painful or traumatic experience.

So, when, consciously or unconsciously, you don’t feel safe or comfortable in the physical body, you retreat to where you can view things from a different perspective.

This can be a very useful tool and people do this, often without really being conscious of it, when small things happen to upset them.

The trouble comes when you are spending large chunks of time, ungrounded and ‘away’ from your body. The nature of grounding and being connected to the earth and your physical vehicle is something that can actually help you feel safe and secure, so it’s a bit of a catch 22.

When you are more grounded and in your body, it helps you feel less tired, have more energy and, here is the important part, process emotions out of the body. You have to be in it to win it!

If you’re not in your body then you can’t process the energy (feelings) coming into it well enough to transmute them and pass them out of your system.

It is a bit like being constipated. All the food hanging around in your gut just creates more toxicity and while it’s sitting around, it gets less and less hydrated which makes it more difficult to pass out anyway. This is very similar to how it is when we don’t effectively process our emotions. This means they stack up in the body and could be a reason why you experience anxiety as there is a huge backlog and nowhere for it to go.

So having established that it’s ok and normal to ‘pop out’ of our bodies occasionally, we need to be mindful that in order to process the feelings that build up during our everyday lives we need to be back in our bodies.

Processing our feelings can sound like a scary thing, but it doesn’t have to be a painful experience. If you wish, you can sit mindfully and be present with feelings or memories in order to transmute them, but that isn’t appropriate, or desirable, for everyone.

Luckily there are many ways to process our ‘stuff’. Music is a very popular way to process. Only you know what kind of music will help you at that particular moment, but it can be extremely cathartic and helpful.

If you can play an instrument, so much the better, as this is linked with physical movement which is another way to move stuck energy out of the body.

Singing is also very powerful as using your voice in that way sends vibrations throughout your energy (and physical) body which can help break up congested energy.

As I said before, physical movement is also beneficial. You can walk, run, play sports, dance – anything really. Some activities allow more expression, such as dance, and that expression can be very cathartic, but just the physical act of moving on its own is helpful for the body.

After all, our lymph system relies on our motor movements to move fluid round the body and one of its jobs is to help remove waste from our cells. Something very similar is happening at an energy level when you move.

Self-care activities such as taking a warm bath, writing things out in a journal, having a massage, or taking some time out, can also be helpful when dealing with anxiety. Time out is very important to reengage with our bodies and is helpful, not only for the energy body but also for the physical system.

What you don’t want to do is shove your unprocessed feelings in a corner and refuse to look at them. But if that is the case right now, don’t panic! There can be very good reasons why you’d want to do that and if you need to, it’s totally fine for a while.

Just be aware that’s what you’re doing. Tell yourself, ‘I’m not looking at that right now – but I’ll come back to it.’ It’s ok, so long as you don’t forget about it forever.

Give yourself as much time as you need, but then remember to come back to it. And eat the elephant in small bites if you have to – there’s no need to rush.

Just a little bit at a time, can make you feel so much better and that should help to alleviate the feelings of anxiety AND give you a lot more energy. Give it a try and see how it goes!

The nature of freedom – and how it’s only a step away!

The last few months have been absolutely frantic for Dan and I as we have gone back to being students of a new healing modality called D codes. This has been a wonderful learning curve and added a new dimension to our healing work. It hasn’t been easy though. The energy demands although they weren’t huge, were enough to send me into complete overwhelm after week 1!

This meant that I couldn’t interact or engage as much as I would have liked and as time crept on, the pressure only increased what with the course being shortened by a month halfway through, and assessments coming upon us faster than we had anticipated.

Now, as every good D coder knows, you need to be flexible enough to roll with change. And yes, we rolled accordingly – but outside of D-codes other demands and responsibilities were piling up even higher and heavier than before.

By mid-January, I emerged from overwhelm enough to throw myself into the last four weeks of the course. I learnt a s##t ton and thoroughly enjoyed the experience, but it was a massive relief when it ended. Woo hoo and FREEDOM!

Except – NOPE! – outside pressures were still nearly flattening us and then… war started up. Wow! By this time, I was squashed flat under the weight of circumstances and the horrific events happening in the outside world just made it worse. As for feeling free… it was a very distant memory.

However, I had been listening to various You Tube talks by Thich Nhat Hanh during this time and was very aware of my lack of meditation practice and the need to get grounded and back to the present moment.

He advocates something called walking meditation; walking slowly and deliberately, in silence, feeling the ground under your feet. On one of our local walks there was a time when Dan was talking but I (for once!) was not. Yes folks, it can happen! Anyway – I decided to concentrate on taking one step at a time and appreciating the world around me, instead of letting my mind (or mouth!) wander.

I was 4 steps in when I got distracted. Yes I am a terrible student of mindfulness! 😉 BUT that’s all it took for me to notice a difference. Thich Nhat Hanh was right. Freedom is possible if you dwell in the present moment, rather than the past or the future. Somehow in those few moments of mindfully taking each step I experienced the feeling of pure and absolute freedom. It was a revelation!

It was the understanding that right in that present moment – “the only moment” as ‘Thay’ would tell us – that I realised that nothing else existed. Not my worries about the future, or the heavy weight I was carrying – not my criticisms of self, or the stress of the world situation. Right in that moment I was completely free. And every time I wanted to feel that, I just had to be present for the next moment, and the one after that and the – wait – was that a squirrel?!

But anyway, the great thing about the present moment is that you can keep coming back to it over and over again and something like walking, which is repetitive, can help to remind you to return back to it with each step.

For all the Buddhists and mindfulness students out there, this may not be news! But for me it was an ephiphany. Freedom was right there within my grasp all the time. However heavy the burdens you carry, however big your problems, you can still escape it all for a moment, in each moment, in every moment.

When we exist in the present moment, we are completely free. It is what some might call the zero point field. The space where everything exists as potential and everything is possible. That is the true nature of reality.

It’s hard to remember when things are tough, so get into the habit of including some mindful steps when you’re out and about; it’s an easy way to connect with self and with the limitless field of potential that you really are.

How to deal with the emotional effects of Lockdown – what to do with all that ‘excess baggage’!

So what else could there be to blog about, than the current global situation? We’ll all be having different experiences depending on our circumstances, but one thing we’ll have in common is that even the more fortunate of us who are able to ride out the lock down comfortably, will still find our ‘stuff’ coming up. There are various reasons for this.

Firstly stuff comes up when we stop and look around and have some time to think. That is happening for a lot of people at the moment.

For others, who haven’t had a chance to stop and have to keep on working really hard in challenging and frightening circumstances, the stress, as you might expect, piles up and triggers their stuff that way.

The general energy of fear and uncertainty; fear of getting the virus, fear for friends and family who are vulnerable or working on the front line, fear over your job, whether you will be able to feed the family – all those are deeply rooted survival based fears and they will also bring up any emotional and mental issues you might have thought you’d buried!

Let’s face it. There might be escape from the virus but there’s no escaping the emergence of your stuff ! So I think it’s really important to talk about how best to deal with it.

Dan and I are lucky in that we are well placed to combat any emotional or mental patterns that jump up and bite us on the bum (and they have – don’t worry about that!) 😉 But what about everyone else who doesn’t have access to those techniques? Well – you will be pleased to hear that there are some simple things you can do that will help to dissipate and process whatever comes up.

Firstly and most importantly, when you are losing control, feeling fearful or panicky, or whatever is showing up, remember that it is vital information – about yourself and what is going on – that you might not always be aware of. As such, it is a golden opportunity and something that you can turn to your advantage.

Secondly – as with any issues – awareness is half the battle. Give the matter your conscious attention Instead of trying to ignore it or push it away, say, “Ok – I’m listening! What is it I need to know?”

So, you’ve realised that something useful has come up, and you’ve become aware of what that is about – for example, perhaps it has come up as an outburst of temper and when you look closely (giving it your attention) you realise that underneath the anger there is a feeling of fear.

The third step is to ask yourself questions. How am I feeling? Why do I think I am feeling that? Ideally, in order to get the best information back from that unlimited source of knowledge which you can call God, your higher self, or just your subconscious; try to put yourself into a quiet contemplative state. Obviously if it is straight after the temper tantrum or panic attack, that won’t work – give yourself some time to calm down and then come back to it later!

The best way to get an answer to your question is to detach. Don’t watch your every thought for a pearl of wisdom to float in! Just relax, sit back and don’t pay it too much attention. In contrast to the part where you need to give attention to your emotions, this is the part where it’s best not to watch the pot too much while it is boiling! 😉

It is fine to think of something else. You’ve posed the question to your mind, now let it get on with finding you the answer. While you are not occupied with waiting for an answer, you may well find one drifts into your mind. When I say answer, I don’t mean – “the meaning of life is 42” – it will probably just manifest as a comment. It is like holding a conversation with the inner you. The inner you will respond with some sort of comment – whether it is a flippant comment, a ‘nobody loves me’ comment, or ‘I don’t matter’ comment. It might sound negative but it is great information.

Then ask yourself – ‘I don’t matter? Why do I think I don’t matter?’ And then wait for the answer – you may be surprised!

In our healing sessions, we would normally work on these feelings energetically, by finding their root and performing clearing techniques. However, it can be done in a simple and natural way over time, just by becoming aware of what the feeling is and what is behind it. There is no better expert on you than you! – and the more you know yourself and know where your feelings come from, the more power you have to change.

Change is what the world needs right now – change for the better that is! So hard as it is at the moment, remember, you don’t have power over the world, but you do have the power to change yourself.