Holiday revelations!

 

I finally had some time out this year. Just one week, away from everything. And boy did it throw up some revelations! There is something to be said for stopping completely. No obligations, commitments, worries, chores or duties. Creating a space, however, always allows for something new to flow in – hence the revelations.

One big eye-opener for me was the feeling I got when I realised I didn’t have to meet any obligations or expectations – including and particularly – my own! Since I was ‘away’, I couldn’t be distracted by household chores, or things that needed doing in the garden. There was no phonecall to be made to my dad every day, no clients, no writing targets and no need to contact friends and family, as they knew I was away.

I actually had to go and lie down for a couple of hours to try and adapt to the massive change in energy that resulted.  I realised that worry over my obligations to others had been weighing me down – and not just a little, but by several tons!

It’s not that other people had been ‘putting on me’ or demanding that I help them out. Far from it. It was my own inner taskmaster!

I love to make a difference to people’s lives and I particularly feel for them when they are stuck as I know what it’s like. It doesn’t mean that I’m never going to attempt to help them out but I’m not going to blame myself if I don’t have the time and energy or if other priorities get in the way.

What I have come to realise is that I am not responsible for other people lives, or for how and why they have got to where they are. You’d think this would have been obvious! But not to me apparently!! – and I’m sure there are others like me out there, who mistakenly assume it is their job to take on responsibility for the happiness of the whole blooming world! 😉

The irony of it is that as a result of this new perspective, I am starting to feel stronger and lighter, with more capacity to help the people that I wanted to help in the first place! So if there is anyone else like me out there, you don’t have to give up helping out, but you do need to keep it in accordance with your own needs and where the other person is in their healing journey. Sometimes people are just not ready for change.

It is a hard thing to do but sometimes, letting go, can result in allowing more of what we actually want into our lives, whereas by trying to take control, we actually keep it away.

The Universe has its own ebb and flow and we need to go with that flow rather than against it. All things come to pass, without trying to force them to happen in the way we think is best. The more you let GO – the more you let IN. Just give it a go sometime and see how liberated you feel!

The Hidden Power of Playfulness

Just me Hands

Image by lisa runnels from Pixabay 

Most people aren’t aware that ‘play’ is a very powerful thing.  The less limits you impose upon yourself when looking for a solution, the greater the range of options available to you. The more relaxed and free you can be in your energy, the easier it will be to reach a state of flow with your intuition and inspiration. Ideas and solutions will come rapidly and without effort.

Play is a willingness to be much more free in our expression. So much of the time, we feel we must keep our feelings, our facial expressions, our urges to dance etc, to ourselves.  We have been brought up hearing a variety of old adages, among others:

  • Children should be seen and not heard
  • Sit still and don’t make a fuss
  • Don’t be a showoff
  • Don’t blow your own trumpet
  • Put other people first
  • Don’t attract attention to yourself

boy behind wire fence

Image by ibrahim abed from Pixabay 

A lot of these ideas are reasonable in context, but the trouble is, they get embedded in our subconscious, so we tend to always act according to those guidelines, even if we are not aware of it. Putting other people first is polite and friendly, but isn’t a good idea all the time. You need to put yourself first now and again, or you tend to get stuck in the default behaviour pattern of ‘I must put everyone else first.’  This then becomes an imbalance, and you will inevitably suffer from it in some way, mentally, physically or emotionally. There needs to be a balance.

It is the same with play and self-expression. Take a job interview for example; that would be a sensible place NOT to fully express your urge to dance, giggle and pull stupid faces! (Wait til you get out of the room at least!) 😉

It just takes a bit of common sense, and lo, you realise you CAN express yourself as you feel in the current moment. As an example, while giving my hands a break from typing this article, I decided to ‘play the piano’ on my gel wrist support. It was quite fun, gave my mind a break for a few moments and then I was back typing. I didn’t stop to wonder whether or not that was silly and I wouldn’t have if I’d been in an office environment either.

Who cares if you play the piano on your wrist support in your micro breaks? You still get the work done! You’ll feel more cheerful and your energy will thank you because it is not being contained. The thing people don’t realise is, being repressed and holding yourself back even in small ways TAKES ENERGY! You are devoting a proportion of your energy resources to this, when you could be using it on something you want to do.

That is one bonus of allowing yourself to be playful. The other is even more powerful. For example, in our Multi-Dimensional Healing work we are constantly looking for answers, tuning into the energy of the client and allowing ourselves to receive the information that we need to help the person.

You might think that you need to ‘REALLY CONCENTRATE’ in order to pull that off. But really concentrating is a form of resistance – because it means MAKING A BIG EFFORT. Effort means pushing against something and another word for that is resistance. What you resist persists, as I’m sure you’ve heard elsewhere.

So what is the answer? Not to try? Well, it’s more a case of ‘letting go’. ALLOWING the answers, the energy, the information to come, rather than pushing for it. It’s much easier that way and the quality of the information or inspiration will be much more helpful.

So in our work we find that humour, playfulness and relaxation are a much more effective way to get the best results. If you are telling us something serious or sad we won’t laugh and joke around, but at the same time we can’t allow it to upset us or make us too sad for you.

Our job is to detach from our emotional feelings and just allow ourselves to receive the information that would be most helpful at the time. That is the way we can perform best and be most useful to our clients.

It works well outside of the clinic room too. Where we can feel really sad and upset for other people’s lives and situations, we try not to allow it to bring OUR energy down, as if WE are down we cannot help anyone else.

Generally, if you are relaxed, laughing and playful your energy will be higher than if you are concentrating furiously, or trying really hard. The optimum state to be in for results is flow; it doesn’t matter if you’re a tennis player, a pianist or an accountant.

Being in a state of flow allows everything that you need in each moment to come to you.  If you are trying too hard, you hold it back from yourself and if you are sad or down, then again it limits the flow.

What we are actually doing by holding ourselves back, is cutting off our own potential. So think about how you behave and whether you are unconsciously following rules that you might have learnt in childhood, that are not appropriate right now.

It’s a beautiful world, but it is also ugly, depressing and full of things to bring you down. What the people and the planet needs most is joy, and the best way to reach that state is freedom of expression through fun, play and laughter. These are the energies that will help transform the world and can be a wonderful tonic to the people around you as well.

 

The Secret to Perfection is it’s actually impossible.

I was surprised but nonetheless greatly relieved, when Moo mentioned that ‘Source isn’t perfect’. Now that might sound shocking to some, but it’s not that simple. When trying to explain the force that makes up living energy, simple doesn’t come into it!

Perfection is a limited state, from which there can be no growth and Source is not limited, therefore Source is not perfect.  As Source, or ‘All That Is’ contains all things, then it contains both the perfect and the imperfect together.

I pricked up my ears when I heard that. Does this mean I don’t need to be 100% perfect I asked myself? What a relief! Suddenly the pressure was off. It meant I could make a mistake, forget to, or be unable to, use right speech, I could have an uncharitable thought or a jealous feeling. And – get this – I would be ok! I would still be a good person. It was ok not to get things right all the time! However, just because I don’t have to strive for perfection it doesn’t mean I don’t strive for IMPROVEMENT.

We are constantly growing and seeking to expand our experience, ideally in a positive way.  I’m always looking to improve the way I feel, think and speak. I’m always refining techniques to find new and better ways of helping people. All those are worthy aspirations – but the key word here is to improve, or make better, not to make perfect.

Although I try to be accepting and tolerant of others, I do get irritated by the fact that society seems to have such expectations of perfection. Celebrities are the obvious example; they must look perfect, have a perfect marriage with perfect children and never make mistakes – or we heap them with scorn and derision and troll their Twitter accounts! However, we non-celebrities are just as quick to judge and ‘unfriend’ each other when people don’t match up to the standards we have created for them.

As a therapist I also feel that expectation extends to me. If I help clear people’s energy blocks and emotional baggage it must mean I am completely free of them myself.  Sorry to disappoint, but, nope!

I have worked through an enormous emotional backlog over the last few years but I’m not there yet! I’m so much healthier and happier but I still have work to do. After all, I have a job, chores, books to write, a life to lead! I can’t spend 24/7 working on myself – and neither can Dan! Plus these things take time – it’s a bit like the bereavement process in that respect. It takes as long as it takes!

But even if you clear ALL your stuff you won’t be immune to mistakes. As one inspiring (but not actually perfect) celebrity says; it’s not your mistakes but how you deal with them that counts.

In the quest for a better society, we could start by not expecting quite so much from others. Try allowing for people to get it wrong, see if they do indeed learn and move on. And then maybe, applaud, because it takes some doing and ‘there but for the grace of God go I.’ Anyone can slip up, no matter how ‘sorted’ they are as a person, how much ‘baggage’ they’ve cleared.

It might not make the world a perfect place 😉 but it would be a whole lot happier and better for it. We’re all doing our best in difficult circumstances. So if someone slips up try not to judge them too harshly. Unless you’re perfect of course…

Spring Clean… your liver!

Now we are in March, Spring has finally sprung – or at least, technically – and therefore it might be time to think about the annual Spring Clean.

If you’re wondering whether this is a post about cleaning – well not really – but don’t overlook the benefits of clearing out! Your house/car/surroundings are an extension of you and when you do physical tidying, cleaning etc, you are effectively working on yourself.  So, a very good way to get an energetic cleaning by doing something physical!

One part of the body that does a lot of work when it comes to cleaning is the liver. It works very hard, dealing with the toxins that we come into contact with, from the air, our food, our cleaning products, even things like new carpets (note how they have a horrible smell initially? – that’s the chemicals!).

Our liver does sterling work dealing with all these toxins but what most people aren’t aware of is that the liver also deals with a lot of our emotional garbage as well.  Depending on who you are and what has happened to you, you will have more or less emotional stuff to process and your liver may have to work extra hard. It does a wonderful job for us in that way and I think it is only fair that we try and repay the favour by giving it a bit of help from time to time!

There are various ways to do this. You can take a course of liver cleanse tablets (remember to keep well hydrated to keep everything flushing through though!) or there are various juices you can try as well.

Years ago, I tried a concoction of apple juice and olive oil, (plus other things) as a liver cleanse. I can’t say whether it was helpful as I have no medical proof, but it didn’t do me any harm, except for the oily feeling of drinking it, which rather put me off! Celery juice is very popular now – I have heard very good things about Anthony William’s book ‘Liver Rescue’ and have seen videos on the benefits of celery juicing; it looks worth a try if you think you can stand it!

So there are some ‘non woo-woo’ ways to clean out your liver. Take your pick! There IS an energetic way, however – and I don’t mean energetic as in running a marathon! 😉 We have filtered many livers for clients and friends! All it takes is a bit of faith and intention and Bob’s your uncle. But before you gain a new uncle, I’ll explain more about how it works.

The intention principle applies, as it does with everything we do energetically. You need to set your intent. This means deciding, or saying to yourself, that you mean to filter your liver of ‘anything unhelpful’. It is best to use that sort of  term as there may be certain chemicals that you DO need in your liver and so if you’re not an expert it is best to leave it vague so that Source energy, or however you prefer to think of it, will filter out only what you don’t need! When in doubt, I find it better to leave it up to Source who DOES know everything rather than myself,  since I am fallible and know very little in comparison!

The next thing to do, is imagine you have your liver in front of you (don’t worry – it doesn’t hurt!) 😉 Imagining works fine, you don’t have to actually feel anything. So long as you imagine and you have set your intention, that will be enough. Now run your dominant hand from right to left through your imaginary liver (or left to right if that feels more comfortable).

I like to keep the fingers splayed out as it helps me imagine that my hand is a kind of filter. Decide as you do it,  that anything you filter is being sent to a recycling bin (rather than just dropping onto the floor in a pile of energetic toxicity – not so good for house vibes!) 😉

Once you have established the intention, moved your hand and decided that anything filtered out is going to the recycling bin, you don’t have to keep re-imagining it each time. Just keep running your hand slowly through your liver and you may feel the energy is less dense. If so, bonus,  if not,  don’t worry; your intention is enough. You can always have a few goes at it too. If there is actually nothing to filter,  then you are just waving your hand about and no harm will come of it!

Once you have filtered toxins you can then go on to filtering out emotions. These may take longer – as emotional baggage generally does!  Since some emotions can be stubborn and don’t want to go, it is best to say to yourself, “I am filtering out all those emotions that are ready to leave or be let go of.” Otherwise, if you try and force it, your body may want to make its displeasure known and you could get a headache or other unpleasant side effect. It’s best to keep to filtering out only what is ready to leave; anything is better than nothing, after all. It can be of great benefit to you physically and emotionally.

If all that seems a bit too hard or strange, then get out your broom and mop and get into those long forgotten cupboards or neglected corners. You’ll feel saintly for doing it and your body will thank you as well!

 

 

If at first you don’t succeed… maybe it’s more complex than you think!!

Dan and I often do work on each other, as, being human, you can imagine we have our own stuff to process, as well as helping clients process theirs! Last night we were working on a belief – well 3 beliefs actually – that were all related.

We often work on beliefs, they can be something we think on the conscious level or something we don’t think we believe which is hiding on the subconscious level. Dan’s three beliefs were subconscious but that’s not a problem so I thought I’d just do a quick bit of work on him while I had the time.

The first thing we do before we try clearing anything, is check whether there is a block. So – lo! – there was a block, but again, no problem with that, it comes up all the time.

The only thing was, I couldn’t shift the block, so I checked if there were any patterns underneath. There was not one, but two patterns! After a lot of energy work I finally shifted pattern no 1. “Aha!” – I thought, “pattern no 2 should shift easily now.”

No…

So after a bit of investigating I realised there was a belief under the pattern!! Yes you read that right, a block with two patterns underneath it and a belief underneath that. I should have been starting to get suspicious at this point!

But I don’t give up easily, so I went on and tried to remove the belief. Would it shift?! No it would not! And believe me we have a lot of techniques and I tried most of them during my attempts to move the block, the patterns, and the belief. Finally I had to admit defeat.

But here is the real problem. I felt like I’d failed. I felt I could have shifted things if only I’d been better at what I do. (I told you I was human and had stuff to process!) 😉

G&T image for oct blog

We then went on to talk about the issue again and discovered that quite apart from the 3 beliefs I was trying to shift, there was another one – related to the first three but deeper. It was, if you like, the root cause of the others – and it would make sense that without shifting the deeper belief, I wouldn’t be able to shift the original three.

After this revelation, I did a bit more work on the deeper belief, and – hallelujah! – it cleared! We then decided to call it a night – that was enough work for one day! 😉

This was a very good lesson for me – so I thought I would share it, for other therapists – and indeed other human beings! – to ponder, with regard to the things we struggle with in life.

Perhaps, if you are trying and trying, using all your skills and intuition and you STILL don’t succeed, maybe there is something you don’t know. Maybe it is time to stand back, and detach, see what happens when you look at it from a different perspective or dig deeper into it.

It DOESN’T mean that you are not good enough, or that you have failed – it may just mean you are trying to move a rock when there is a mountain sitting on top of it! And sometimes the only way to move a mountain – even if it is a mixed metaphor 😉 – is in small bites!