Are you moving forward in your life or are you stuck in the same place no matter what you do? There might be a reason for that!

What does going forward in your life mean to you? No, what does it really mean to you? Humans are many layered and you have to dig deep if you want to find your real motivation — but it’s worth doing, as once you’ve uncovered it you can find out why you’re not succeeding. Once you have all the facts then you’re in a position to make a decision.

Maybe you want to sell more products, or attract more clients. If you suddenly get hoards of people knocking at your door (or your website!) asking for appointments what might that change mean for you? What will it require from you? Will you have to make a decision? How will your life have to change in order to get what you want?

Your subconscious fear of having to make changes, take accountability, meet demand, be responsible for people etc are all things that might hold you back energetically from getting what you want.

You have to decide what is best for you, what you can handle and then do it —or not do it. You don’t have to worry as all the control is in your hands, but in order to take control you need to know what the parameters are. You need to know what the likely consequences of change are and whether you can handle it — both consciously AND subconsciously.

So, ask yourself the questions. Do I really want this change? And see what the little voice within says. If you get a no when you expected a yes, then it’s time to ask another question. Why is that? What will it mean for me/my life/my family? You might be surprised by the response.

This is where you find out whether you and your subconscious are on the same page. It’s not just about the ‘little voice’ though – it’s noticing how it feels when you think about it. You might find those feelings contradict how you think you feel about going forward, in which case — congratulations! You’ve just discovered what was getting in the way of your success – and all because you were not aware that part of you was feeling that way.

Human beings are complex and many layered so if there is part of you that is saying no, it makes the energy of your focused intent less powerful which attracts less people/less money/less success — whatever it is you were working on.

So, what do you do now you have that useful nugget of information? Well, you ask more questions. For example, if you feel fear or panic when you think about getting what you want, then you need to ask yourself (your inner self) why that is.

Listen for the little voice that tells you you’re frightened of more responsibility or having to rely on your own judgement, or the possibility of overwhelm. Whatever it is, it’s information. Talk to yourself like you would another person. Give yourself advice, and see where that takes you. Hopefully to a place of better clarity and from there you can decide whether going forward is something that you really want, or something that you actually can’t cope with.

Just remember, it’s up to you. Nobody else really knows what you should do or what is right. So cut out the noise from society, family, friends, social media — even your partner or mentor. Because they don’t know what is right for you exactly at this moment. Only you can decide that, once you have consulted with all the layers of yourself. It’s time to step up to the plate, affirm sovereignty over your life, and get to it. Or don’t! It’s your choice.

Have you reached the place of zero tolerance? Try it. It can be more magical than you might think…

Some people might have heard of the zero point field. A place of pure potentiality where everything (and nothing — it’s very zen!) is present. Taking into account that the zero point field exists and therefore so does everything we might desire for ourselves, maybe that inspired me to get to the place of ‘zero tolerance’!

Or maybe I just got to the point where I’d been stuck for too long, going round and round in the same old hamster wheel. Maybe I was just tired of the place of ‘zero progress’! 😉

But a lot of us won’t reach that place. We’re very good at putting up with things you see. Not because we believe we don’t have any power to change them, but just because they ARE.

Are there things that annoy you every day but you never do anything about and just put up with as one of those inevitable irritating everyday things?

Well, here is an idea. It doesn’t have to be that way. If you just jolt yourself out of the hypnotic mindset that tells your brain “it’s just part of your daily life”, and start looking for a solution you’ll find that – gasp! – you can make changes.

Small, maybe, because these things are often small and irritating and that is why we overlook them. Whether it’s mending the plug in the bathroom sink, reorganising the cupboard under the stairs so you can actually find stuff, or finding a new place for your shoes that you WON’T trip over them, you can get a real boost . It’s often so simple to fix that you wonder why you never did it before.

The answer is because you just accepted it as part of life and something that had to be put up with. After all it’s easier to just keep trudging on, accepting and tolerating stuff than it is to shake yourself out of it and create change. And the sooner you realise that, the easier you can wake up and take control.

And you’ll find it gives you such a sense of empowerment that you realise you don’t have to accept the bigger irritations in your life either. And before you say it, yes we all have certain factors in our life that we can’t change like family members or situations, but if you ignore the immoveable (or currently immoveable) pieces on the chessboard of life, what else can you actually move?

We spend too long in our lives, stuck in situations, either because we’ve never questioned them or we’re afraid to make decisions that might create change. That’s where you need to keep asking yourself questions (and then you need to answer them!) Do I need this? Can I change this? What will happen if I do? Is that acceptable to me? If not, is there another way, to make it acceptable to me. What other options are there? If I wasn’t prepared to accept that situation, what else might be possible? You’ll be amazed what you can achieve once you start asking questions from a no limitations point of view.

Yes, of course there are limitations in life – but in what ways can you work round them? In what ways can you alter them or alter the effect they have on you? Just keep asking questions from a different perspective and you might find that you have more ‘wiggle room’ than you first thought.

Wiggle room is good! We all need more of that. So question what you think are your limitations and just see what you can create!

Can getting rid of your emotional constipation help with anxiety? And what do you need to do?

With the world being what it is today, most people have experienced anxiety to a greater or lesser extent. And while there are many possible approaches, not many of them deal with what happens at an energy level when we experience anxiety.

Drawing from my own experience, I would describe anxiety as a kind of clawing, niggling feeling that may or may not make sense consciously. Sometimes I knew I was anxious and I understood why, and other times I had no clue why I was feeling that way and that only made it worse because there was nothing I could do to ‘reason it away’.

I’ve also experienced the kind of anxiety that hits you like a freight train and completely shuts off your power of speech, your ability to think and even your ability to move.

When the body is in severe anxiety your energy field will tend to react by catapulting your consciousness out of the body to a safe distance where you can observe what’s going on. This way you don’t have to be fully present with what may be a painful or traumatic experience.

So, when, consciously or unconsciously, you don’t feel safe or comfortable in the physical body, you retreat to where you can view things from a different perspective.

This can be a very useful tool and people do this, often without really being conscious of it, when small things happen to upset them.

The trouble comes when you are spending large chunks of time, ungrounded and ‘away’ from your body. The nature of grounding and being connected to the earth and your physical vehicle is something that can actually help you feel safe and secure, so it’s a bit of a catch 22.

When you are more grounded and in your body, it helps you feel less tired, have more energy and, here is the important part, process emotions out of the body. You have to be in it to win it!

If you’re not in your body then you can’t process the energy (feelings) coming into it well enough to transmute them and pass them out of your system.

It is a bit like being constipated. All the food hanging around in your gut just creates more toxicity and while it’s sitting around, it gets less and less hydrated which makes it more difficult to pass out anyway. This is very similar to how it is when we don’t effectively process our emotions. This means they stack up in the body and could be a reason why you experience anxiety as there is a huge backlog and nowhere for it to go.

So having established that it’s ok and normal to ‘pop out’ of our bodies occasionally, we need to be mindful that in order to process the feelings that build up during our everyday lives we need to be back in our bodies.

Processing our feelings can sound like a scary thing, but it doesn’t have to be a painful experience. If you wish, you can sit mindfully and be present with feelings or memories in order to transmute them, but that isn’t appropriate, or desirable, for everyone.

Luckily there are many ways to process our ‘stuff’. Music is a very popular way to process. Only you know what kind of music will help you at that particular moment, but it can be extremely cathartic and helpful.

If you can play an instrument, so much the better, as this is linked with physical movement which is another way to move stuck energy out of the body.

Singing is also very powerful as using your voice in that way sends vibrations throughout your energy (and physical) body which can help break up congested energy.

As I said before, physical movement is also beneficial. You can walk, run, play sports, dance – anything really. Some activities allow more expression, such as dance, and that expression can be very cathartic, but just the physical act of moving on its own is helpful for the body.

After all, our lymph system relies on our motor movements to move fluid round the body and one of its jobs is to help remove waste from our cells. Something very similar is happening at an energy level when you move.

Self-care activities such as taking a warm bath, writing things out in a journal, having a massage, or taking some time out, can also be helpful when dealing with anxiety. Time out is very important to reengage with our bodies and is helpful, not only for the energy body but also for the physical system.

What you don’t want to do is shove your unprocessed feelings in a corner and refuse to look at them. But if that is the case right now, don’t panic! There can be very good reasons why you’d want to do that and if you need to, it’s totally fine for a while.

Just be aware that’s what you’re doing. Tell yourself, ‘I’m not looking at that right now – but I’ll come back to it.’ It’s ok, so long as you don’t forget about it forever.

Give yourself as much time as you need, but then remember to come back to it. And eat the elephant in small bites if you have to – there’s no need to rush.

Just a little bit at a time, can make you feel so much better and that should help to alleviate the feelings of anxiety AND give you a lot more energy. Give it a try and see how it goes!

The nature of freedom – and how it’s only a step away!

The last few months have been absolutely frantic for Dan and I as we have gone back to being students of a new healing modality called D codes. This has been a wonderful learning curve and added a new dimension to our healing work. It hasn’t been easy though. The energy demands although they weren’t huge, were enough to send me into complete overwhelm after week 1!

This meant that I couldn’t interact or engage as much as I would have liked and as time crept on, the pressure only increased what with the course being shortened by a month halfway through, and assessments coming upon us faster than we had anticipated.

Now, as every good D coder knows, you need to be flexible enough to roll with change. And yes, we rolled accordingly – but outside of D-codes other demands and responsibilities were piling up even higher and heavier than before.

By mid-January, I emerged from overwhelm enough to throw myself into the last four weeks of the course. I learnt a s##t ton and thoroughly enjoyed the experience, but it was a massive relief when it ended. Woo hoo and FREEDOM!

Except – NOPE! – outside pressures were still nearly flattening us and then… war started up. Wow! By this time, I was squashed flat under the weight of circumstances and the horrific events happening in the outside world just made it worse. As for feeling free… it was a very distant memory.

However, I had been listening to various You Tube talks by Thich Nhat Hanh during this time and was very aware of my lack of meditation practice and the need to get grounded and back to the present moment.

He advocates something called walking meditation; walking slowly and deliberately, in silence, feeling the ground under your feet. On one of our local walks there was a time when Dan was talking but I (for once!) was not. Yes folks, it can happen! Anyway – I decided to concentrate on taking one step at a time and appreciating the world around me, instead of letting my mind (or mouth!) wander.

I was 4 steps in when I got distracted. Yes I am a terrible student of mindfulness! 😉 BUT that’s all it took for me to notice a difference. Thich Nhat Hanh was right. Freedom is possible if you dwell in the present moment, rather than the past or the future. Somehow in those few moments of mindfully taking each step I experienced the feeling of pure and absolute freedom. It was a revelation!

It was the understanding that right in that present moment – “the only moment” as ‘Thay’ would tell us – that I realised that nothing else existed. Not my worries about the future, or the heavy weight I was carrying – not my criticisms of self, or the stress of the world situation. Right in that moment I was completely free. And every time I wanted to feel that, I just had to be present for the next moment, and the one after that and the – wait – was that a squirrel?!

But anyway, the great thing about the present moment is that you can keep coming back to it over and over again and something like walking, which is repetitive, can help to remind you to return back to it with each step.

For all the Buddhists and mindfulness students out there, this may not be news! But for me it was an ephiphany. Freedom was right there within my grasp all the time. However heavy the burdens you carry, however big your problems, you can still escape it all for a moment, in each moment, in every moment.

When we exist in the present moment, we are completely free. It is what some might call the zero point field. The space where everything exists as potential and everything is possible. That is the true nature of reality.

It’s hard to remember when things are tough, so get into the habit of including some mindful steps when you’re out and about; it’s an easy way to connect with self and with the limitless field of potential that you really are.

2021 in review – and good f###ing riddance!

Well, what can I say about 2021? This year has smacked us both into next week pretty much consistently and we’ve found out how strong we actually are. We’ve also learnt pretty much a lifetime’s worth in one year and become completely different people from the ones we were when it started.

We even embarked into being students again, which was exciting and terrifying at the same time. We’ve grappled with time zones and with our own ###t equally.

We’ve had to take the year, one step at a time. At once, hopeless and hopeful, despairing and determined. We’ve had to deal with not being seen and not being able to connect with people. We’ve fought overwhelm while running on empty and ploughed on regardless when all we really wanted to do was give up and let somebody — anybody — else take over.

But the thing is, sometimes things are handed to you for a reason. Sometimes it isn’t anybody else’s job. Sometimes there isn’t anyone to delegate to. Hell, even to talk to about it! So when you grit your teeth and gather up your (in my case, metaphorical) cajones for the thousandth time to get on with the job, just remember the story of Solomon’s temple.

If only those pesky demons had kept themselves to themselves they wouldn’t have ended up enslaved and having to build his temple for him. Damn! I bet they wish they’d stayed home that day! 😉

The fact is that the more challenges you have to overcome the stronger and better you will get at doing it. So when those unfair and unacceptable things happen, remember that they are also working for you to build you something better; because that is the nature of light and dark. One assists the other in moving forward, even though they don’t intend to.

So, take that demons! 😉 – we just got bigger and smarter and better than we could have done without the absolute pile of s###e that came our way this year. And that’s got to be better for everyone.