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Can getting rid of your emotional constipation help with anxiety? And what do you need to do?

With the world being what it is today, most people have experienced anxiety to a greater or lesser extent. And while there are many possible approaches, not many of them deal with what happens at an energy level when we experience anxiety.

Drawing from my own experience, I would describe anxiety as a kind of clawing, niggling feeling that may or may not make sense consciously. Sometimes I knew I was anxious and I understood why, and other times I had no clue why I was feeling that way and that only made it worse because there was nothing I could do to ‘reason it away’.

I’ve also experienced the kind of anxiety that hits you like a freight train and completely shuts off your power of speech, your ability to think and even your ability to move.

When the body is in severe anxiety your energy field will tend to react by catapulting your consciousness out of the body to a safe distance where you can observe what’s going on. This way you don’t have to be fully present with what may be a painful or traumatic experience.  

So, when, consciously or unconsciously, you don’t feel safe or comfortable in the physical body, you retreat to where you can view things from a different perspective.

This can be a very useful tool and people do this, often without really being conscious of it, when small things happen to upset them.

The trouble comes when you are spending large chunks of time, ungrounded and ‘away’ from your body. The nature of grounding and being connected to the earth and your physical vehicle is something that can actually help you feel safe and secure, so it’s a bit of a catch 22.

When you are more grounded and in your body, it helps you feel less tired, have more energy and, here is the important part, process emotions out of the body. You have to be in it to win it!

If you’re not in your body then you can’t process the energy (feelings) coming into it well enough to transmute them and pass them out of your system.

It is a bit like being constipated. All the food hanging around in your gut just creates more toxicity and while it’s sitting around, it gets less and less hydrated which makes it more difficult to pass out anyway. This is very similar to how it is when we don’t effectively process our emotions. This means they stack up in the body and could be a reason why you experience anxiety as there is a huge backlog and nowhere for it to go.

So having established that it’s ok and normal to ‘pop out’ of our bodies occasionally, we need to be mindful that in order to process the feelings that build up during our everyday lives we need to be back in our bodies.

Processing our feelings can sound like a scary thing, but it doesn’t have to be a painful experience. If you wish, you can sit mindfully and be present with feelings or memories in order to transmute them, but that isn’t appropriate, or desirable, for everyone.

Luckily there are many ways to process our ‘stuff’. Music is a very popular way to process. Only you know what kind of music will help you at that particular moment, but it can be extremely cathartic and helpful.

If you can play an instrument, so much the better, as this is linked with physical movement which is another way to move stuck energy out of the body.

Singing is also very powerful as using your voice in that way sends vibrations throughout your energy (and physical) body which can help break up congested energy.

As I said before, physical movement is also beneficial. You can walk, run, play sports, dance – anything really. Some activities allow more expression, such as dance,  and that expression can be very cathartic, but just the physical act of moving on its own is helpful for the body.

After all, our lymph system relies on our motor movements to move fluid round the body and one of its jobs is to help remove waste from our cells. Something very similar is happening at an energy level when you move.

Self-care activities such as taking a warm bath, writing things out in a journal, having a massage, or taking some time out, can also be helpful when dealing with anxiety. Time out is very important to reengage with our bodies and is helpful, not only for the energy body but also for the physical system.

What you don’t want to do is shove your unprocessed feelings in a corner and refuse to look at them. But if that is the case right now, don’t panic! There can be very good reasons why you’d want to do that and if you need to, it’s totally fine for a while.

Just be aware that’s what you’re doing. Tell yourself, ‘I’m not looking at that right now – but I’ll come back to it.’ It’s ok, so long as you don’t forget about it forever.

Give yourself as much time as you need, but then remember to come back to it. And eat the elephant in small bites if you have to – there’s no need to rush.

Just a little bit at a time, can make you feel so much better and that should help to alleviate the feelings of anxiety AND give you a lot more energy. Give it a try and see how it goes!

The nature of freedom – and how it’s only a step away!

The last few months have been absolutely frantic for Dan and I as we have gone back to being students of a new healing modality called D codes. This has been a wonderful learning curve and added a new dimension to our healing work. It hasn’t been easy though. The energy demands although they weren’t huge, were enough to send me into complete overwhelm after week 1!

This meant that I couldn’t interact or engage as much as I would have liked and as time crept on, the pressure only increased what with the course being shortened by a month halfway through, and assessments coming upon us faster than we had anticipated.

Now, as every good D coder knows, you need to be flexible enough to roll with change. And yes, we rolled accordingly – but outside of  D-codes other demands and responsibilities were piling up even higher and heavier than before.

By mid-January, I emerged from overwhelm enough to throw myself into the last four weeks of the course. I learnt a s##t ton and thoroughly enjoyed the experience, but it was a massive relief when it ended. Woo hoo and FREEDOM!

Except – NOPE! – outside pressures were still nearly flattening us and then… war started up. Wow! By this time, I was squashed flat under the weight of circumstances and the horrific events happening in the outside world just made it worse.  As for feeling free… it was a very distant memory.

However, I had been listening to various You Tube talks by Thich Nhat Hanh during this time and was very aware of my lack of meditation practice and the need to get grounded and back to the present moment.

He advocates something called walking meditation; walking slowly and deliberately, in silence, feeling the ground under your feet. On one of our local walks there was a time when Dan was talking but I (for once!) was not. Yes folks, it can happen! Anyway – I decided to concentrate on taking one step at a time and appreciating the world around me, instead of letting my mind (or mouth!) wander.

I was 4 steps in when I got distracted. Yes I am a terrible student of mindfulness! 😉 BUT that’s all it took for me to notice a difference. Thich Nhat Hanh was right. Freedom is possible if you dwell in the present moment, rather than the past or the future. Somehow in those few moments of mindfully taking each step I experienced the feeling of pure and absolute freedom. It was a revelation!

It was the understanding that right in that present moment – “the only moment” as ‘Thay’ would tell us – that I realised that nothing else existed. Not my worries about the future, or the heavy weight I was carrying – not my criticisms of self, or the stress of the world situation. Right in that moment I was completely free. And every time I wanted to feel that, I just had to be present for the next moment, and the one after that and the – wait – was that a squirrel?!

But anyway, the great thing about the present moment is that you can keep coming back to it over and over again and something like walking, which is repetitive, can help to remind you to return back to it with each step.

For all the Buddhists and mindfulness students out there, this may not be news! But for me it was an ephiphany. Freedom was right there within my grasp all the time. However heavy the burdens you carry, however big your problems, you can still escape it all for a moment, in each moment, in every moment.

When we exist in the present moment, we are completely free. It is what some might call the zero point field. The space where everything exists as potential and everything is possible. That is the true nature of reality.

It’s hard to remember when things are tough, so get into the habit of including some mindful steps when you’re out and about; it’s an easy way to connect with self and with the limitless field of potential that you really are.

2021 in review – and good f###ing riddance!

Well, what can I say about 2021? This year has smacked us both into next week pretty much consistently and we’ve found out how strong we actually are. We’ve also learnt pretty much a lifetime’s worth in one year and become completely different people from the ones we were when it started.

We even embarked into being students again, which was exciting and terrifying at the same time. We’ve grappled with time zones and with our own ###t equally.

We’ve had to take the year, one step at a time. At once, hopeless and hopeful, despairing and determined. We’ve had to deal with not being seen and not being able to connect with people. We’ve fought overwhelm while running on empty and ploughed on regardless when all we really wanted to do was give up and let somebody — anybody — else take over.

But the thing is, sometimes things are handed to you for a reason.  Sometimes it isn’t anybody else’s job. Sometimes there isn’t anyone to delegate to. Hell, even to talk to about it! So when you grit your teeth and gather up your (in my case, metaphorical) cajones for the thousandth time to get on with the job, just remember the story of Solomon’s temple.

If only those pesky demons had kept themselves to themselves they wouldn’t have ended up enslaved and having to build his temple for him. Damn! I bet they wish they’d stayed home that day! 😉

The fact is that the more challenges you have to overcome the stronger and better you will get at doing it. So when those unfair and unacceptable things happen, remember that they are also working for you to build you something better; because that is the nature of light and dark. One assists the other in moving forward, even though they don’t intend to.

So, take that demons! 😉 – we just got bigger and smarter and better than we could have done without the absolute pile of s###e that came our way this year. And that’s got to be better for everyone.

To detox, or not to detox? You might be surprised…

I’m a member of a group for healers and people that want to clear their crap so they can fulfil their potential. Part of this month’s effort is a very comprehensive detox plan.

I won’t bore you with the finer details, but suffice it to say, for me, de-tox doesn’t sound like the most appealing idea.  Because hey, when you’re going through a hard time, the last thing you really want to do is ramp up the challenge level by forcing yourself to down a bunch of vile-tasting tinctures, remove the flavour from your food, and cut out sugar and gluten.

Don’t get me wrong though. I am quite sure that the plan is sound, and I know the effects would be helpful for my body. Some might argue that BECAUSE I’m going through a hard time, this is the exact right point to lessen the load by clearing out those toxins.

If that’s you and you’re going for it – great! Don’t let me stop you. But if, like me, you’re exhausted – only keeping going by sheer willpower and bloody mindedness – then the thought of a de-tox might tip you over the edge. So, before you tip – stop – rewind – and read on!

What if there was another way? I’m not saying DON’T detox ever. They can be great. In fact, I have done various cleanses in my time that involved taking large amounts of apple juice and olive oil, or stinking green powder that doesn’t really want to dissolve in water – because, you know, it’s algae! I’ve even had the proverbial tube up the bum, otherwise known as colonics. And I’m sure that none of them were as thorough and well-thought out as this current de-tox that I’m privileged to have access to.

The trouble for some of us is – we know it won’t wash. It all comes down to ‘know thyself’. I do – and I know that I won’t take the tinctures (after the first evil mouthful!) 😉 I won’t stick to the diet plan and I’ll probably topple over while trying to do it, however slowly and carefully the measures are introduced. But what about the fact that I’ve been under all of the stress for an unacceptable period of time and my body really needs me to do something to help it?

Well, like I said, this detox plan is thorough. It starts with de-cluttering your physical environment, and particularly the part of it that is social media. I reckoned I could do that! Cutting down on the number of facebook groups I’m part of, pages I follow etc. And the same goes for other types of social media.

Things could be a whole lot more clear and condensed, so that, if you’re going to waste time on facebook or twitter, you can waste it more effectively!😉 Same with email – and what about the photos and files on your phone or computer? Yikes! Are they organised so you can find them easily? You’d be surprised the relief you can get by sorting things like that so that you don’t spend hours looking for something you want.

Then you can look around you at the toxins in your physical environment. Actually, if you’re really stressed out, don’t research this too hard please! No need to take up carpets and stop breathing when you’re in a polluted area. It’s all about small steps.

I’ve been changing up the household products I use for a while so they have less harsh chemicals and are more natural (the buzz word is ‘clean’) and plant-based.

One word of warning by the way – a lot of places are jumping on the ‘no plastic’ bandwagon which is great, we need that. But don’t be seduced by ‘no plastic waste’ and exchange it for more chemicals. That is to say, it’s up to you if you want to do that. Just make sure you’re aware so you can make the decision for yourself, rather than have it made for you.

Yes, it will take a bit of research if you’re going to do it properly, but you could stick to the products that have the most physical effect on you. Say laundry liquid (goes on your clothes which you wear next to your skin) and dish tabs (affects the stuff you eat off). Or look at your face and body creams. It’s all making an effort towards letting less toxins in – and you haven’t even said no to that doughnut yet!

Another aspect I like to think about is (as I call it): “Feng Shoo”! Feng Shoo is about clearing the space around you so it’s easier to manage – and again it’s a relatively easy win. If you have some time to tidy and organise the things that annoy you, then do it. You’ll be surprised at the hit you get from it.

At the end of the day though, if you want to detox then you can’t really completely ignore diet. I don’t mean go on a diet, but try and listen more to what your body really wants.

Yesterday, for example, I was craving something sweet after lunch. I thought maybe I’d eat some chocolate, but I knew I didn’t really want it and that it wouldn’t give me what I needed.

I happened to have some brazil nuts and apricots in the fridge and my body was much happier with those. I found I didn’t want the chocolate at all after that. So find the things you like that are better for you and not crammed full of #%#t!

Does this mean that I’ll be giving up all processed sugars and gluten this month? Not on your nelly! But what I have found is that making simple swaps, whenever I can manage it, is helping me feel better.

What happened is that by following the detox pathway (without following the detox pathway!) I sent out my intention to the universe to tell it I want to help my physical body. And in so doing, certain things have come to my attention. Really big things. Like – why am I spending the better part of every morning figuratively banging my head against the wall, which leaves me demoralised, depressed and with no energy for the rest of the day. Great question! Time to change things up.

So that’s how committing energetically to something, gives the universe the go-ahead signal to send you the solutions and ideas you need to reach your goals.

Yes – maybe further down the line there will be some more focus on diet and nutrition, more clever swaps and even the odd foul-tasting tincture. But for now I’m going with what the universe is showing me is possible. And that’s actually something quite big. I’m  going to leave the head-banging til the evening, when I’m tired and likely to get less done anyway. Bingo! Massive detox win!

This should give me more energy to focus on myself. Which means I can put a bit more into clearing up my environment, paring back my social media habit and maybe – just maybe – eating one less doughnut! 😉

Who do you think you are?

This month I have learnt something really important. I have learnt about me! To thine own self be true seems to be the theme of this year. And having (re)discovered myself, that is exactly what I am going to do.

What about you? Are you being the real version of yourself? Or are you, instead, embodying the version of yourself that others want to see, or your boss prefers, or your family needs you to be?

When you peel away everyone else who has an input or an opinion on who you are – what is left? Or rather who is left? Who would you be if you weren’t having to adapt to other people’s demands, or conform to other’s expectations? Take some time and think about that. Mull over it in the bath, or maybe do some journaling. It’s a big question!

It is true that you can’t contain energy. The energy that makes up who we are cannot be limited. And yet we impose limits upon ourselves. DOH! Why do we do it?? We make ‘boxes’ for ourselves, and we label them and ask ourselves to stay inside them.

I’ve never been very good with people imposing limits on me from outside. In fact, just try it! I will kick over the traces in no time. But what about ME placing limits on myself? That’s just fine and dandy it seems.

Well, after my recent wake-up call I’m calling time! NO MORE LIMITS! And I suggest you do it as well. Firstly, souls can’t be contained and restricted and secondly, why on earth would we do this to ourselves instead of being everything we can be and came here to be.

So… it’s coming up to Halloween. A good time to look back on your year. On who you SHOULD have been and who you are GOING to be. If you’ve been hiding your light under a bushel then give yourself a quick slap round the face (with a wet fish if necessary) and snap out of it.

I’m limitless, you’re limitless. Get with the program and get your real self out there in the world where it’s needed.

‘Nuff said!