Self-care or duty. Which do you choose?

Hard as it is to believe, Queen Elizabeth II, our longest reigning monarch, died on 8TH September 2022. Whatever some may think about the monarchy, or the Queen herself, she lived her whole life in duty and service. How many of us can say we would be able to do the same? (That’s a no from me!) And, in actual fact, admirable though this is, and offering no disrespect to a great lady, I question the wisdom of living our lives that way, as it allows for very little change and change is what creates growth.

In fact, the more flexible you can be with the way you live your life the better. Because of society’s expectations and her position, the queen had very little choice or say in how she lived her life, but that is not true for most of us. However, we still tend to cling onto outdated ideas and beliefs that are unhelpful to us.

For example, so many people live their lives putting others first. That sounds like a high ideal doesn’t it? We should put others first, but what about when it is to the detriment of ourselves. Is that a good thing? I’m not saying we should never do it. Parents have to do it most of the time! But you need to recognise that in order to look after or ‘serve’ others you need to look after yourself.

Both Dan and I have decided that this huge global shift is the time for us to pull our fingers out and make those changes that we have been desiring for so long. There have been many things we have been putting off, shutting out ignoring etc, and one of those was to do work on ourselves (instead of everyone else) which is why we have decided to close our healing practice until further notice.

Having made this decision a month ago, we expected to close for August and then open up again in September, but it has become obvious that our month ‘off’ only scraped the surface of what needed to be done and that we need a more concerted period of self-focus and introspection to sort out our own issues for once.

With the change in monarchy, new energies are coming in and it is the perfect time to take hold of opportunities to change things up, to put down heavy loads, to examine things you’ve left unexamined, in short, to ‘do different’ than you did before.

Even if it means doing something ‘outrageous’ like paying attention to your own needs and your own development. Go on – try it! It might seem selfish now, but in the long run you will be able to give people more, not less. Hmm. Maybe not so selfish after all?

Don’t rise up — ground in! The myth of ascension and why it’s missing the mark.

‘Earth Moo’ by Daniel Saunders

If you’ve been surfing anywhere in the metaverse you will have come across talk of ascension – something, we should all be aspiring to because, apparently, all the world actually needs is for humanity to ‘rise up.’

Isn’t that great? Take a look at humanity. There are a lot of good people in the world, but do you actually see them ‘rising up?’ No, neither do I. It would take a miracle. And if you’ve been watching the world over the last few decades you’ll realise we are about all out of those!

But what about God? Angels and archangels. Higher vibrational beings. Aliens from outer space. Are they helping us at all? Well, yes, actually. There are a ton of higher vibrational energies being directed at earth and have been for a while.

All sorts of beings are working to raise the vibration of earth and trying to help humanity, which is great. Unfortunately, there seems to be a problem.

These helpful energies are bouncing off, or getting stuck, before they can ground down into the lower and more physical vibrations. And why is that? Well, suffice it to say that unfortunately, good is not the only energy out there!

That is a problem, because in order to manifest things into the world we need to bring our visions down from the clouds of our imagination to a level where they can become physical.

We might all have a ‘higher self’ but ultimately we’re here in physical bodies. So we need help at the physical level. And quite frankly, if all we’re doing is thinking about attuning to higher vibrations and how to ascend, then we’re doing the wrong thing!

I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with tuning in to higher vibrational energies and beings, but on its own, it’s just all too airy fairy to do any actual physical good.

I realise this might all sound rather negative and yes I am absolutely having a rant, but never fear, there is some very good news!

The energies that the planet and its people need in order to become more enlightened as a species are already waiting for us. And instead of ‘rising up’ to meet them, we need to pull them down — or ground them in — to our level.

Imagine them as balloons. If we float up to meet them, we can hang there in the sky, being about as helpful as a chocolate teapot, but if we grab their strings and pull them down, then all that peace, love and pure intent can manifest through us into the physical world.

So if you really want to do some good in the world, for god’s sake don’t float off into the ether. It might be nice up there but it’s a total cop out. The world needs you and it needs you down here, in the present moment, in your physical body acting as a grounding force for these wonderful energies that are being directed at the planet.

There’s nothing to say you can’t pop out and in and take an occasional trip in a balloon 😉 but at the end of the day you came to earth for a physical experience and earth needs you here and present to usher in the new age of love and light, that everyone is talking about.

So, walk barefoot on the earth, go on a digital detox, be mindful and conscious of being in your body. Tune into those wonderful energies hovering over the planet and deliberately draw them down onto the planet where they are so desperately needed.

One word of warning however — not all the energies aimed at the planet are as pure they ought to be — so use your discernment. If you are absolutely sure what you are grounding in, then do it.

If not, you can help by staying as grounded as possible in your physical body. We all watch TV and scroll mindlessly on our phones, but be aware, and try to keep it down.

Do more exercise, go out in nature, don’t spend every minute looking at a screen (she says while typing – but bear with me!) and, above all, try to be mindful of being in your body and in the present moment.

This is what the world needs right now. Tempting as it is to just float off away from everything, hang on in there and you can help humanity usher in a new age.

Are you moving forward in your life or are you stuck in the same place no matter what you do? There might be a reason for that!

What does going forward in your life mean to you? No, what does it really mean to you? Humans are many layered and you have to dig deep if you want to find your real motivation — but it’s worth doing, as once you’ve uncovered it you can find out why you’re not succeeding. Once you have all the facts then you’re in a position to make a decision.

Maybe you want to sell more products, or attract more clients. If you suddenly get hoards of people knocking at your door (or your website!) asking for appointments what might that change mean for you? What will it require from you? Will you have to make a decision? How will your life have to change in order to get what you want?

Your subconscious fear of having to make changes, take accountability, meet demand, be responsible for people etc are all things that might hold you back energetically from getting what you want.

You have to decide what is best for you, what you can handle and then do it —or not do it. You don’t have to worry as all the control is in your hands, but in order to take control you need to know what the parameters are. You need to know what the likely consequences of change are and whether you can handle it — both consciously AND subconsciously.

So, ask yourself the questions. Do I really want this change? And see what the little voice within says. If you get a no when you expected a yes, then it’s time to ask another question. Why is that? What will it mean for me/my life/my family? You might be surprised by the response.

This is where you find out whether you and your subconscious are on the same page. It’s not just about the ‘little voice’ though – it’s noticing how it feels when you think about it. You might find those feelings contradict how you think you feel about going forward, in which case — congratulations! You’ve just discovered what was getting in the way of your success – and all because you were not aware that part of you was feeling that way.

Human beings are complex and many layered so if there is part of you that is saying no, it makes the energy of your focused intent less powerful which attracts less people/less money/less success — whatever it is you were working on.

So, what do you do now you have that useful nugget of information? Well, you ask more questions. For example, if you feel fear or panic when you think about getting what you want, then you need to ask yourself (your inner self) why that is.

Listen for the little voice that tells you you’re frightened of more responsibility or having to rely on your own judgement, or the possibility of overwhelm. Whatever it is, it’s information. Talk to yourself like you would another person. Give yourself advice, and see where that takes you. Hopefully to a place of better clarity and from there you can decide whether going forward is something that you really want, or something that you actually can’t cope with.

Just remember, it’s up to you. Nobody else really knows what you should do or what is right. So cut out the noise from society, family, friends, social media — even your partner or mentor. Because they don’t know what is right for you exactly at this moment. Only you can decide that, once you have consulted with all the layers of yourself. It’s time to step up to the plate, affirm sovereignty over your life, and get to it. Or don’t! It’s your choice. 

Have you reached the place of zero tolerance? Try it. It can be more magical than you might think…

Some people might have heard of the zero point field. A place of pure potentiality where everything (and nothing — it’s very zen!) is present. Taking into account that the zero point field exists and therefore so does everything we might desire for ourselves, maybe that inspired me to get to the place of ‘zero tolerance’!

Or maybe I just got to the point where I’d been stuck for too long, going round and round in the same old hamster wheel. Maybe I was just tired of the place of ‘zero progress’! 😉

But a lot of us won’t reach that place. We’re very good at putting up with things you see. Not because we believe we don’t have any power to change them, but just because they ARE.

Are there things that annoy you every day but you never do anything about and just put up with as one of those inevitable irritating everyday things?

Well, here is an idea. It doesn’t have to be that way. If you just jolt yourself out of the hypnotic mindset that tells your brain “it’s just part of your daily life”, and start looking for a solution you’ll find that – gasp! – you can make changes.

Small, maybe, because these things are often small and irritating and that is why we overlook them.  Whether it’s mending the plug in the bathroom sink, reorganising the cupboard under the stairs so you can actually find stuff, or finding a new place for your shoes that you WON’T trip over them, you can get a real boost . It’s often so simple to fix that you wonder why you never did it before.  

The answer is because you just accepted it as part of life and something that had to be put up with. After all it’s easier to just keep trudging on, accepting and tolerating stuff than it is to shake yourself out of it and create change. And the sooner you realise that, the easier you can wake up and take control.

And you’ll find it gives you such a sense of empowerment that you realise you don’t have to accept the bigger irritations in your life either. And before you say it, yes we all have certain factors in our life that we can’t change like family members or situations, but if you ignore the immoveable (or currently immoveable) pieces on the chessboard of life, what else can you actually move?

We spend too long in our lives, stuck in situations, either because we’ve never questioned them or we’re afraid to make decisions that might create change. That’s where you need to keep asking yourself questions (and then you need to answer them!) Do I need this? Can I change this? What will happen if I do? Is that acceptable to me? If not, is there another way, to make it acceptable to me. What other options are there? If I wasn’t prepared to accept that situation, what else might be possible? You’ll be amazed what you can achieve once you start asking questions from a no limitations point of view.

Yes, of course there are limitations in life – but in what ways can you work round them? In what ways can you alter them or alter the effect they have on you? Just keep asking questions from a different perspective and you might find that you have more ‘wiggle room’ than you first thought.

Wiggle room is good! We all need more of that. So question what you think are your limitations and just see what you can create!

Can getting rid of your emotional constipation help with anxiety? And what do you need to do?

With the world being what it is today, most people have experienced anxiety to a greater or lesser extent. And while there are many possible approaches, not many of them deal with what happens at an energy level when we experience anxiety.

Drawing from my own experience, I would describe anxiety as a kind of clawing, niggling feeling that may or may not make sense consciously. Sometimes I knew I was anxious and I understood why, and other times I had no clue why I was feeling that way and that only made it worse because there was nothing I could do to ‘reason it away’.

I’ve also experienced the kind of anxiety that hits you like a freight train and completely shuts off your power of speech, your ability to think and even your ability to move.

When the body is in severe anxiety your energy field will tend to react by catapulting your consciousness out of the body to a safe distance where you can observe what’s going on. This way you don’t have to be fully present with what may be a painful or traumatic experience.  

So, when, consciously or unconsciously, you don’t feel safe or comfortable in the physical body, you retreat to where you can view things from a different perspective.

This can be a very useful tool and people do this, often without really being conscious of it, when small things happen to upset them.

The trouble comes when you are spending large chunks of time, ungrounded and ‘away’ from your body. The nature of grounding and being connected to the earth and your physical vehicle is something that can actually help you feel safe and secure, so it’s a bit of a catch 22.

When you are more grounded and in your body, it helps you feel less tired, have more energy and, here is the important part, process emotions out of the body. You have to be in it to win it!

If you’re not in your body then you can’t process the energy (feelings) coming into it well enough to transmute them and pass them out of your system.

It is a bit like being constipated. All the food hanging around in your gut just creates more toxicity and while it’s sitting around, it gets less and less hydrated which makes it more difficult to pass out anyway. This is very similar to how it is when we don’t effectively process our emotions. This means they stack up in the body and could be a reason why you experience anxiety as there is a huge backlog and nowhere for it to go.

So having established that it’s ok and normal to ‘pop out’ of our bodies occasionally, we need to be mindful that in order to process the feelings that build up during our everyday lives we need to be back in our bodies.

Processing our feelings can sound like a scary thing, but it doesn’t have to be a painful experience. If you wish, you can sit mindfully and be present with feelings or memories in order to transmute them, but that isn’t appropriate, or desirable, for everyone.

Luckily there are many ways to process our ‘stuff’. Music is a very popular way to process. Only you know what kind of music will help you at that particular moment, but it can be extremely cathartic and helpful.

If you can play an instrument, so much the better, as this is linked with physical movement which is another way to move stuck energy out of the body.

Singing is also very powerful as using your voice in that way sends vibrations throughout your energy (and physical) body which can help break up congested energy.

As I said before, physical movement is also beneficial. You can walk, run, play sports, dance – anything really. Some activities allow more expression, such as dance,  and that expression can be very cathartic, but just the physical act of moving on its own is helpful for the body.

After all, our lymph system relies on our motor movements to move fluid round the body and one of its jobs is to help remove waste from our cells. Something very similar is happening at an energy level when you move.

Self-care activities such as taking a warm bath, writing things out in a journal, having a massage, or taking some time out, can also be helpful when dealing with anxiety. Time out is very important to reengage with our bodies and is helpful, not only for the energy body but also for the physical system.

What you don’t want to do is shove your unprocessed feelings in a corner and refuse to look at them. But if that is the case right now, don’t panic! There can be very good reasons why you’d want to do that and if you need to, it’s totally fine for a while.

Just be aware that’s what you’re doing. Tell yourself, ‘I’m not looking at that right now – but I’ll come back to it.’ It’s ok, so long as you don’t forget about it forever.

Give yourself as much time as you need, but then remember to come back to it. And eat the elephant in small bites if you have to – there’s no need to rush.

Just a little bit at a time, can make you feel so much better and that should help to alleviate the feelings of anxiety AND give you a lot more energy. Give it a try and see how it goes!