Is it ethical to help someone without their permission? Can you send remote or distance healing to someone without their knowledge? And what do you do, if you ask and they flat out refuse! Should you give up and go away or is there something you can do?

I was told years ago that there were very strict rules on what you could and couldn’t do for other people For example, when sending out healing to someone, you had to get their permission. However, it’s not quite as cut and dried as that. The idea that you are the door, not the doer is foundational to most healing therapies. The practitioner ‘opens the door’, by offering energy to the client and it is up to that person whether or not to let it in and enable their own healing. So in that case, the matter of permission is moot.

The idea of permission being unnecessary also comes from the fact that we live in something called a free will Universe. That is to say we have the power over our own lives, to make our own decisions, for better or for worse – and before you start asking what is a non-free-will Universe like, I may as well make it clear – I have no idea!

In this particular Universe however, we have the power to make decisions for ourselves about what we will and won’t accept – and that goes for energy coming in, such as thoughts of love and healing etc. How do we decide if we’re going to accept it if we don’t know it’s coming? Well that’s the thing – we DO know!

There are machines that can take pictures of the aura, or energy body, but what no-one can tell us, is where that energy body ends. I think that it doesn’t. That we are somehow plumbed in to all-that-is, but most people aren’t aware of it. The upshot is – that you know more than you know you know! 😉 With that said, imagine someone sending out remote healing to you. You could be sitting at home or at work, doing whatever it is you do and you wouldn’t have a clue it was happening – consciously that is.

Your subconscious is a different matter. There is a lot we pick up subconsciously and absent healing is just one of those things. You might be eating a meal at the same time as your subconscious picks up a stream of healing energy sent your way. While you’re tucking in unawares, part of you will either accept the energy or block it. Isn’t that great? You don’t have to do anything?! You can just get on with your dinner! That energy if accepted will go on to do it’s job, either – during dinner – or if it considers it more expedient – later on, say when you’re asleep. No effort needed on your part!

It’s not so good however when you’re in a healing session and the conscious part of your mind wants to accept help, while your subconscious is giving it the boot! Part of our work is checking for blocks and clearing them so that changes can be made. Blocks are a pain! 😉 They really need a post to themselves so I’ll come back to them another time.

Let’s get back on topic. You are sending healing to someone. You haven’t asked their permission, they’ve got (consciously) no idea it’s coming. No problem! Their unconscious self will sort out the ‘permission’ part so you will not be going against their free will.

In most situations this isn’t necessary as you would normally be able to have a conversation to ask them if they would like to receive healing. I wouldn’t suggest going around sending out to all and sundry, whether they want it or not. It may not defy any karmic laws but it’s not ideal!

Talking of karma – since it IS possible to go against someone’s free will (although that strays into other areas such as magic and personal power) it’s worth noting that those actions have a price. Even if you intend to do good but are actually forcing your will onto someone else, there will be some kind of unwanted repercussion, so I wouldn’t recommend it.

A friend of mine once sent out healing to a man who was seriously ill, and in this case she didn’t ask permission or tell him it was happening. She told me that her healing had bounced back and she didn’t know why, which illustrates what I have been saying about being able to block what is being offered, whether you know about it or not.

We may never know why people reject healing energies. Just because someone is ill, doesn’t mean that they’ll be open to healing, in fact they may well have given up hope and shut down completely. There are many reasons why people, consciously or subconsciously, refuse to accept help; they may be overwhelmed, despairing, or even scared of change (even if that change might save their life). It is a complex issue, but the point is that sometimes, however hard you try, you can’t ‘get in’.

It is very hard to accept, when you believe you can help someone but they turn you down or shut you out. It is hardest of all when those people are family members or close friends, but even in that situation there is something you can do.

‘Doing’ might be a bit of an odd choice of word, but energetically it is accurate! If someone is flat out refusing to change or accept help then the best thing you can ‘do’ for them is to take a step back and accept their decision. This is a technique that can be used, not just by therapists but by everyone else as well.

By all means, use your persuasion or your therapy skills in the first instance, but at the end of the day, if it doesn’t work then you have to accept it is not the right time. The best way to help them is not to cut off from them or detach (although I appreciate it may be painful). Stay present, and try to feel acceptance for where they are in their lives at the moment. It’s not an easy thing to do but try to remember you are playing a longer game, and focus on the end result.

As I mentioned earlier, people can feel energetically if you are trying to change them and will instinctively protect themselves. In this situation they will probably expect pressure or resistance from you and when they don’t pick it up, it confuses them. They no longer need to adopt a defensive position.

This is progress – as when people ‘fling up a wall’ there is no getting past it! If you can get them to relax their (energetic) defensive stance then you start to create room for things to happen. You can’t force it, but just by holding an energy of non-judgement and acceptance, it encourages them to change. You may have heard the expression – ‘what you resist persists’? Or ‘desperation repels’? Both of those are true which is why, in that situation, you need to stop trying so hard, in fact you need to stop ‘trying’ full stop! Trying creates pressure and resistance, which the person you are trying to help will detect and their barriers will go up!

There is no guarantee of course of results, and I’m not saying it’s a walk in the park – but I do believe it is the only thing that can give you – or rather them – the best chance of making a change.

So… those are my thoughts on how and when you can – and should – try to help people. Ideally people will ask for help or you will offer and they will accept, but life is complicated. Now you have a couple more options when you’re really stuck and you don’t need to worry about being struck down or karma biting you on the bum. Result! 😉

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